The question we all ask about death, of course, is ‘where do we go?’ And of course the answer is ‘nobody knows’. Of course, our tradition gives a variety of answers. Avraham is discussed as ‘going down to Sheol’. Isaiah talks of an end of days where God returns and those that have passed return to an eternal life. The rabbis of the talmud believe in an olam haba, a world to come, in which the righteous live lives of ease and torah study. The kabbalists believe in gilgul hanefesh, the reincarnation of souls, in which the total number of souls at sinai of 600,000 are fractionalized and constantly recycled for all eternity.
A few years ago I told the story of the test of the caterpillars and the butterfly - that researchers flashed a light and then sprayed a nasty smell at caterpillars, and then after they went into a chrysalis and turned to goo and recombobulated and were reformed into butterflies, they flashed the light and the non-control group ran away, because they were afraid of the spray, but the control group did nothing. The test indicated that even though caterpillars go through an incredible transformation in which nothing of the orginal creature except the base cells remain, and yet they persist beyond the chrysalis. But, at the end of the day, we don’t really know what happens after we die.
There’s one other hint in the Talmud about what it maybe is. The Talmud tells us ‘sleep is 1/60th of death.’ It does not elaborate. But sleep - and dreams - are a fascinating way to imagine the world beyond.
When we sleep, elements of our waking life pop up in haphazard fashion. Long dead friends are there, at an age we recognize them. We dream dreams of calm but also anxiety - many of us still wake up worried about the test we showed up for unprepared in 8th grade, only upon waking to remember that we graduated high school, and college, and graduate school. Our dreams are out of time and beyond reason, but when we are in them, that doesn’t bother us. We are in communication with the present, the past, and the future, all at once. The dream world is its own world with its own rules, and we don’t really understand them. And when we dream we are totally unaware that any other world exists.
And then there is the waking world, which we consider a more primary world. The waking world is linear and interactive, but also busy and demanding in ways the dream world is not. There are wonderful and terrible things about the physical waking world. We sometimes retain things that happened in the dream world, but they remain hazy, foggy. Sometimes we tell them to our spouse or our therapist, or maybe we keep a dream journal by the bed - which can be really fun. And most of us we think of the waking world as real, and the sleeping world as imagined. But when we are in those worlds, we don’t really feel that way. We’re in the now, and it is real, and there is no other world.
What if the world beyond was like that? What if it is all too real when we are in it, and perhaps the notion of another world is a drifting idea, or a faint echo? Our loved ones are there - safe, comfortable, unaware of us. Maybe that’s because the soul persists beyond death. Maybe it’s more organic than that - all our cells began in the big bang as stardust, and all our atoms rejoin the universe after we pass. Maybe its more metaphysical than that - that there are other dimensions and states of being - a true olam haba. That world might be shades of this one, as the waking world is to the sleeping world. Maybe, true to some of my favorite movies like Inception and The Matrix, this world is actually the dream world, and we only discover that in the next one. And all the loved ones we ever encounter in this world, rather than being a faint memory in the next world, are actually a faint memory in this one, and a stronger reality in the next. Imagine that in a dream your mothers love is warm but hazy, and in this world it is very real, and the next world it becomes 1000x stronger. Maybe.
We miss our loved ones. We call to them through the dream world on this day, at yizkor, whispering ‘ we love you and we miss you and we wish you were here.’ But like a dream, we remember them, and they come alive in our memories and in our dreams.