Question: I am married to a gentile man who is of Italian background. When I discussed with the Rabbi who married us if we have a child that is raised of a different religion will he still be considered Jewish, she advised yes. I am a 100% Ashkenazic Jew. My problem is my son (who is now 1½ yrs old) was circumcised by a Jewish doctor training to be a mohel. He did not have a bris. If he grows up and wants to marry a nice Jewish girl (like his momma) will he have to convert and/or be bar mitzvahed? Is he considered Jewish? Thank you.
Hatafat Dam Brit is a private procedure performed by a mohel in which a blessing is recited and the mohel pokes the area where the foreskin used to be with a sterile needle in order to draw a drop of blood. I was more than a little nervous, but I went through with it and it was surprisingly comfortable, painless, and personally meaningful.
Now to the technical points. Judaism is passed, as you know, by mother to child. As long as you are Jewish, your son is Jewish. Period. Brit Milah, while an important lifecycle ritual that strongly identifies your child to the community as a proud new member, does not make you Jewish. The same applies to Bar Mitzvah: it is an important lifecycle event, but not a requirement to be a Jew. The one caveat is that a convert to Judaism must undergo circumcision or else they cannot be considered a Jew.
Your son is Jewish without a doubt. If you feel strongly that you would like to fulfill this mitzvah now, you can choose to contact a mohel and have the procedure done. Alternatively, you can let him choose for himself. If he would like to fulfill the mitzvah of Hatafat Dam Brit when he is older, he can choose to do that. It is very quick, only a mild discomfort (like a pinch), and can be a life affirming and transformational moment for a person.
The only thing I would encourage is that you, as his mother, let him know as soon as he is capable of grasping the information and its relevance, maybe at the age of 12 or 13 years old. By the time I learned about my bris, I felt a little betrayed by my father, both for not having a traditional ceremony, and for withholding the truth from me for so long. Your son probably won’t make such a big deal out of it, but better to avoid any ill-feelings by being honest as soon as he can process the information.