Rabbi Mark Asher Goodman
  • Home
  • About
  • Writings
  • Audio
  • Video
  • Media Coverage
  • Soccer Rabbi

How do I quit my job in the most ethical way?

7/15/2014

0 Comments

 
Question originally posted to Jewish Values Online


Question: I dislike my job & want to quit. I'd like to do it in a time frame that works for me, but I'd also like to do it in a way that's not offensive to my employers & allows them ample time to find a replacement. What's the best way - & the Jewish way - to address a touchy situation like this?
Answer:  First of all, you have to be commended for caring enough about your employer that you wish to leave on good terms and in a moral and holy way. Clearly, they are losing a great asset.

There are many laws about the mutual employment responsibilities of both employer and employee in Jewish texts. Employers must pay on time and according to agreement. They may not deduct from an employee for normal course-of-work damages and incidentals. And they must provide benefits like medical care, meals, breaks and vacation according to the customs of the city in which the workplace is. Employees are expected to complete the labors they agreed to, arrive and depart according to the customs of the workplace, and not steal from their employers. For more, see the Talmud in Bava Metzia, 76-78.

Pursuant to your question of how much notice should you give, the Mishnah in Bava Metzia 7:1 reiterates the concept in labor relations that ‘everything is according to local custom’. In America, it seems to me that most people consider two weeks notice that you are quitting acceptable and four weeks to be the most respectful, if possible.

Lastly, the way to quit in a moral and respectable way is not a topic broached in Jewish law, but the Torah gives an excellent illustrative story. In Genesis 31, Jacob, who has been cheated over and over again by his employer and father-in-law Laban in the course of 20 years of labor decides to quit. He agrees with Laban to divide their flocks of sheep, but Jacob schemes to take all of the good sheep and leave Laban the weak sheep.  He kvetches to his wife that Laban “has cheated me and changed my wages ten times” (31:7), but does not convey his frustrations to Laban. Jacob takes his flocks, wives and children and leaves in the middle of the night. Laban chases him down and exclaims, “Why did you secretly flee on me, without even telling me, for I would have sent you off with joy and with song, with drum and with lyre…” (31:27).

Jacob then unloads; he tells of all the injustices of 20 years of labor for Laban in one seething diatriabe. Laban, either in anger, shock, or genuine selfishness, replies “The daughters (Jacobs two wives) are my daughters, the children are my children, the animals are my animals!” (31:43). The two make a covenant, mend their spat, and part ways for ever.

You are free to draw your own conclusions from this text. My take is this:

1) When you take your work with you, make sure your employer knows exactly what you are taking and agrees to it. Taking the secret plans to the next Toyota Prius might be immoral (and it’s probably also illegal).

2) When you leave, save your co-workers your gripes. Go out with dignity, not like Jacob.

3) Set a date to leave, work until then, and go. Don’t sneak out in the middle of the night or call in sick for your last two weeks.

4) If and when you think your employer can hear it, set a meeting to discuss why you are leaving. A good company will want to know why its quality employees do not want to stay. Conversely, a lousy company won’t care what you say, and it will only validate your reasons for leaving. If you think your employers will be unable to hear your respectful explanation, plan B would be to write a letter shortly after you have left.

5) Lastly, and this is from experience, don’t expect to be played out ‘with drum and with lyre’, even if you were employee of the year 10 years running.

Good luck and many blessing at your next employers.

0 Comments

Is an un-circumcised boy Jewish?

7/11/2014

0 Comments

 
Question originally posted to Jewish Values Online


Question: I am married to a gentile man who is of Italian background. When I discussed with the Rabbi who married us if we have a child that is raised of a different religion will he still be considered Jewish, she advised yes. I am a 100% Ashkenazic Jew. My problem is my son (who is now 1½ yrs old) was circumcised by a Jewish doctor training to be a mohel. He did not have a bris. If he grows up and wants to marry a nice Jewish girl (like his momma) will he have to convert and/or be bar mitzvahed? Is he considered Jewish? Thank you.
Answer:  At some point during my early 20’s, I asked my father about what my bris (Brit Milah, or circumcision) was like. He told me that it was performed by a pediatrician in the hospital on the day I was born. Years later, a rabbi informed me that my circumcision was not done with the ritual intent and the proper blessings of a bris, and that I would need something called Hatafat Dam Brit.

Hatafat Dam Brit is a private procedure performed by a mohel in which a blessing is recited and the mohel pokes the area where the foreskin used to be with a sterile needle in order to draw a drop of blood. I was more than a little nervous, but I went through with it and it was surprisingly comfortable, painless, and personally meaningful.

Now to the technical points. Judaism is passed, as you know, by mother to child. As long as you are Jewish, your son is Jewish. Period. Brit Milah, while an important lifecycle ritual that strongly identifies your child to the community as a proud new member, does not make you Jewish. The same applies to Bar Mitzvah: it is an important lifecycle event, but not a requirement to be a Jew. The one caveat is that a convert to Judaism must undergo circumcision or else they cannot be considered a Jew.

Your son is Jewish without a doubt. If you feel strongly that you would like to fulfill this mitzvah now, you can choose to contact a mohel and have the procedure done. Alternatively, you can let him choose for himself. If he would like to fulfill the mitzvah of Hatafat Dam Brit when he is older, he can choose to do that. It is very quick, only a mild discomfort (like a pinch), and can be a life affirming and transformational moment for a person.

The only thing I would encourage is that you, as his mother, let him know as soon as he is capable of grasping the information and its relevance, maybe at the age of 12 or 13 years old. By the time I learned about my bris, I felt a little betrayed by my father, both for not having a traditional ceremony, and for withholding the truth from me for so long. Your son probably won’t make such a big deal out of it, but better to avoid any ill-feelings by being honest as soon as he can process the information.

0 Comments

    Author

    In addition to his role as rabbi at Brith Sholom, Rabbi Goodman is a frequent commenter to Jewish Values Online, a website devoted to provided answers to Jewish questions from diverse rabbinic viewpoints.

    Archives

    January 2016
    April 2015
    July 2014

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly